Santa's Butt Banned

State Outlaws Rude Santa
Kilgore Trout Reporting
(Hartford , Conn. NCJ News) Connecticut officials are pursuing a seldom used statute in a full court effort to stop the importation of British favorite "Seriously Bad Elf" beer. The state believes it would be really awful for kids to see the label on the British import.
It depicts a menacing elf with a weapon launching Christmas ornaments at Santa's sleigh as it flies in fear overhead.
State liquor laws ban any depiction of Santa on the label as well as anything that might appeal to children.
"There are certain symbols and images that appeal more strongly to children and this regulation includes the most obvious among them," Attorney General Richard Blumenthal said. "The state has wide discretion to regulate the sales of alcohol."
Also on the list of soon to be banned beer was "Naked Lady Ale" and "Creamy Head" lager, both which show scantily clad women in compromising positions.
Dan Shelton cried foul. After all, his company had no complaints when it sold Bad Elf and Very Bad Elf in previous years. It sells the beer in 30 other states and none have reported any cases of children being in possession of the evil brew.
We even had a beer called Santa's Butt last year," Shelton said. "They didn't notice Santa's Butt, but they notice this one. How can you miss that big red thing? Minors are not going to be looking to buy beer because Santa Claus is on the label." However, he added, "That might be true for "Naked Lady."